11-10-14
Who was that guy?
This past weekend my high school, Salpointe Catholic, in
Tucson, Arizona, had a mini off-year
reunion. I was unable to attend, but
chatted with several people online and commented on photos that were posted
from the celebrations. I never felt
particularly close to my fellow classmates.
I was sort of a loner in school.
I did the drama thing to feed my introversion, but other than that I
never felt as if I were “in” the group I
attributed it to my lack of self-esteem due to my poor self-image. You see, for three years (freshman-junior) I
was overweight and not happy with that kid I saw in the mirror. I still tried to be funny and entertain where
I could, but my group of friends was small and quirky. It was also full of underclassmen or
overclassmen (sic), but rarely with those in
my class.
But over the last few years I began to wonder. Who was that guy? I had an idea of who I thought I was, but I was never really sure. So I started thinking about how I could ask
my fellow Lancers (high school mascot name) what they remember of me. How could I ask and get an honest
response?
Who was I kidding. No
one was going to take that bait.
I did test the waters a bit and went fishing, but I realized
that you would generally only get the positive comments from people because the
years have tempered their responses. My
wife asked me why I cared? I couldn’t
give her an exact answer, but as I thought about it I realized my motivation
behind it.
It’s like that favorite song you remember from school many
years before. You loved it, listened to
it often, memorized all the lyrics to it, then one day 30 years later you hear
it on the radio and you facepalm yourself.
WHACK! So “that’s” what that meant?
And when you realize it, the song takes on a whole new meaning for
you. You don’t like it any more or less,
you just see it in a brand new light and you walk around with a new knowledge
that you heretofore did not have.
I don’t think having this information from the perspective of others will cause me to like myself any less, and my wife says it’s not
possible for me to like myself any MORE!
But it will give me an understanding (knowledge) that will educate
me. Like in the movie Frequency when a moment changes in the
past and suddenly Jim Caviezel’s character, in the present, is flooded with the
memories that were just created.
I’m just curious, I guess.
But I haven’t figured out how to ask the question: Who was that guy?
No comments:
Post a Comment