Grieving...and Thanksgiving

There is no grieving process.  Not my words.

Let me step back though and clarify.  Pyschologists say that when you grieve for the loss of someone you go through a “process,” but then they turn right around and say that everyone’s process is different and can be filled with many different idiosyncrasies.  So while technically, by definition, it is a process.  There is just no rhyme nor reason to it.

I had prepared for my mother’s passing as much as anyone can prepare for such a traumatic event.  I had my idea of what emotions I would feel, how they would hit me, and how I would deal with them.  So far there have been no surprises.  I kept my spirits up, for the most part.  I told a few jokes and laughed.  I held back most of the tears and sent a barrage of good thoughts out.

I was standing in front of a grocery store handing out donation cards for Meals on Wheels when I got the text from my sister.  “She died about 2:30.” While the text seemed perfunctory, it was actually very considerate and it was information that I was prepared to receive.  Plus I knew that my sister had just gotten to the hospice and she was likely balling her eyes out.

I politely stepped away from the entrance, informed my wife who was there helping too, and stepped away for a moment to collect my thoughts.  I then posted the news to Facebook.  It was the quickest way that I could think of to tell all of my friends and family what had just happened.  They, too, were expecting it.  I then went back to the grocery store entrance and continued to encourage people to help provide meals for shut in seniors.

This was yesterday…and today is Thanksgiving.  And while I am sad at the passing of my mother, Helen Marie Henry at the age of 84, I am thankful for the life I had in her care.  It molded me into the person I am today and I am thankful for him too.

I know that this is trite sounding, but step away from whatever it is that has you bogged down, even if for a brief moment, and express gratitude in your heart.  And if you feel up to it…extend that gratitude to someone else.  You will feel better!