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Part of the blog writing process for me is about having something of note to talk about.  Trying to do that every day is a task that has been somewhat strenuous.

It has been particularly difficult this week, since I am still dealing with the details and processing the feelings that I have surrounding my mother’s passing.  I know that there are people that write volumes about death and surviving the loss of a loved one, but at this point my true feelings are better left under the cover of silence.  I am intelligent enough to know that, while every family has issues that have to be dealt with, sometimes the truth of those issues are better left unsaid.  Particularly during such a time when verbalizing them could make a situation quite volatile.

Here is something metaphorically speaking:  Only someone from an alcoholic family can understand the dynamics of another member of an alcoholic family.  The outsider will often times try to help a situation by interjecting some normally sage advice that would be applicable in most situations, but not for this one.  And conversely the ranting of a child of an alcoholic might seem calloused and hateful to someone on the outside.  This is why my advice is always the same.  Don’t judge.

I think that the main reason the scripture says not to judge, is because no one can know the whole situation.  The circumstances surrounding someone’s actions may be so foreign to us that we cannot even begin to comprehend them, thereby causing an incorrect judgment.  It is the practice of imposing our righteousness upon someone elses sin.  Hence: He who is without sin…Start the stoning!

Now in my house, there was no alcoholism, no specific dysfunction that I care to share, but there certainly is a sense that each of the siblings has a slightly different picture of what life was like in the house in which they grew up.  There were two parents, but 4 different households.  Being the youngest, I believe that I saw things much differently than the first three (and all girls).  And they also had different experiences from each other.  But if there is a “youngest” child out there that happened to come from a family of 4 or larger that didn’t get the sense that their parents had done all the work on the older siblings and were basically shooting from the hip by the time you came along, I would love to hear from you.  I know that you are out there, but I bet…a whole lot more of you get what I am trying to say!