It comes and goes in spurts. Some days I feel as though I
could write forever with plenty to say. Other days there is nothing but dust in
the drawers! Dusty day today! I woke up at 2:30 this morning and instead of
rolling over and burying my head in the pillow I succumbed to the little green
flashing light. Yes, I picked up my phone and took a look at what was "the
Most Important thing in my life!" As it turned out there wasn't anything
too exciting going on other that my circadian rhythm was now fricked up. The
one message that appeared on the screen was over 4 hours old and could have
been another 3 or 4 hours older and not made one bit of difference. Of course I
did not know this, but I should have. There are only 2 types of messages that
hold extreme importance to me...My biological family and my adopted family. If
you are not in either of those groups then I am sorry but your text can wait.
Barring any life threatening emergency I knew that it was not likely to be
family, otherwise the phone would have actually rung. On the adopted side
of things there are only a handful of people that I would respond to at that
hour. LH, LHB, DS, RH, DJL. And maybe one or two more that I cannot
recall at this very tired moment. But I usually know when texts from the
adopted family are coming. Call it a sense, wisdom, witching, a
connection, whatever word you choose to ascribe to it.
So why not just sleep? I have no idea. Maybe
it's just stuff on my mind that is imbedded deeper than my conscious will allow
me to access. I have tried meditating. Occasionally focused
breathing will work, but in the long run it comes down to unconsciously
grabbing my cell phone and watching whatever videos pop up on my facebook
screen. Thankfully there is nothing hardcore there to further destroy my
slumber! I mean who needs "that" at 2:30? On the other
hand (pardon the inexcusable pun) were "I" someone's blinking green
light and some tactile interaction were proposed...Sleep be damned!
I look forward to that early morning wake up call!
Dusty is right.
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