The Great Santa Cruz Adventure

When you are a parent one of the toughest things to try to explain to a child is why they have to have certain rules and responsibilities.  Why you have to give them boundaries.  It is in our human nature, left unopposed, to push as far past the established rules as we can.  Testing our limits, our own and those imposed upon us.  And when left to our own devices we oft times learn lessons the hard way, or in some cases learn lessons while narrowly escaping by the ‘skin of our teeth’.

Now the following account is true.  The only thing that is not accurate is the date.  Time is so fleeting and when I was recounting this I had a difficult time pinpointing the exact day, month, and year.  However, I am sure there is someone still alive that will remember something about this particular event.

It was a cool, dry, windy fall day, a Saturday as I remember.  Doug and I were making a day of it on the open desert.  Now this was not unusual for me to be off in the desert by myself on any given day in the year, as long as school was not in session, but for an 8 year old it was still pretty amazing.  Doug on the other hand was at least 2 years my junior and possible 3.  My memory was that he was 5 years old, but definitely not over 6.

Looking over the terrain of our family dwelling on Abington road our 5 acre parcel was backed up to a deep wash (or dry river bed) that served as a culvert for the summer monsoons.  During the rainy seasons it often filled with rushing water and caused havoc in the low lying areas for residents wanting to get home after a long day of work.  But for my young neighbor, Doug, and myself it served as the path to adventure.  For you see the wash wandered through the desert, behind houses, under Silverbell road, and out to the mighty Santa Cruz River.

The Santa Cruz was a respite from the heat and ran slow and shallow at our end of the city.  In fact it is the only place it ran at all.  East of the city it was as dry as a bone.  But a short half mile from our house it was a place that kids went to play.  Older kids generally.  There was even a high point in the sand where you could jump off safely into the water from a protruding mesquite tree.

So on this one particular Saturday, I asked Doug if he wanted to head on down to the river where we could explore, swim, and even cook hotdogs by the river.  This was going to be epic!  Two kids, that honestly should not have been left unattended, heading out into the desert for some fun!  Carrying a pack of hotdogs, a pack of buns, and a bottle of soda we headed out.

During the trek we would look for interesting items, things that had been rushed down the mountain is a desert rain storm.  We found fossils, saw rattlesnakes, handled horned toads, and saw the occasional tarantula. 

When we arrived at the river we set up camp.  This consisted of clearing out some brush in the middle of 2 dunes created by flash floods and digging down enough to be protected by the breezes that often came up on a fall afternoon.  After getting the area prepared we left our foods and headed for the area that rose above the river.  Over the years people had brought chairs, a table, and old wire spool left by the power company and even a grocery cart.  Today it would look similar to a Hollywood depiction of what a homeless camp looked like, but back in 1968 I did not even know of the term homeless person.  In all of the times we had wandered there over the years we never saw anything that would make us nervous or scared to be there alone.  But then again, we were 8 and 6 years old.  Almost independent!

So Doug and I spent a little time having fun at the “fort” area and even waded a bit in the water.  But not for long.  The walk through the desert and the playing in the water soon meant that our bodies were needing nourishment.  Time for food!

We walked back over to where we had left our provisions and I dug a deep hole with plenty of sand up the sides so that we could start a small fire in a pit.  Doug went and gathered a few dried mesquite sticks which would make the perfect firewood for hotdogs.  A lovely mesquite flavor which of course is the preferred wood of any grilled meat in the southwest.  We also found a couple of long sticks that we could use to cook our hotdogs.  And since I forgot to mention it earlier, I also grabbed pickled relish and mustard from the cabinet at home.  Who am I kidding, even at 8 I knew the important condiments for a successful hotdog roast.

Doug and I wolfed down a couple of dogs each. And were satiated.  But being an unpredictable fall day in Arizona the wind began to pick up a little and it actually got chilly.  We hunkered down beneath the dunes to protect ourselves from the wind, but it was obvious that we were going to need to stoke the fire, or head back to the house.

I decided to stoke the fire.  I say it was me, not because it was or wasn’t, but because I don’t see Doug at 5, or no more than 6, deciding that on his own.  The fire started burning nicely and providing some good heat, at least if you sat really close to it, but as the coals began to get really hot the ash started to twirl in the pit.  And the fire, causing its own breeze began to lift the embers into the air. 

Surrounding the sand dunes on the banks of the river were tall, dry grasses.  Some even taller than the 5, and not more than 6, year old as well as the 8 year old.

I remember specifically the culprit.  Still to this day I can see it in my mind.  A tiny, glowing ember rising out of the fire and floating across the air and over the dune.  And even at 8 years old I knew that this was nothing but bad!

Instantly the brush on the other side of the sand caught fire.  At first Doug and I tried to throw sand on it and hit it with our jackets, but it spread quickly and was soon out of control.  Doug and I looked at each other and decided that it was time to run.  Partly because of the danger of the fire surrounding us and partly because we did not want to be there when the authorities got there.

My memory is not completely clear here, but I believed we grabbed the remainder of our things and leftovers and headed back toward the house through the wash.  Luckily the wind was blowing westerly and took the fire down the river.  It was also lucky that there were no homes or property that could be damaged.

As we got to the bridge on Silverbell Road that passed over the wash we climbed to the top and made it to the road.  We looked out over the trees and could see the smoke and even the occasional flame as the fire spread down the river.  In the distance we could hear the sounds of sirens and got to a high point along the road and watched as firetruck after firetruck pulled up on the scene.  In a short period of time there were 5 trucks and still the sirens of more coming down the road.  The problem was that they were on the other side of the river.  They would have to attempt to put it out from across the way.

Doug and I knew that the situation was out of our control and did not want to be anywhere near the area.  So even though we wanted to watch to see what happened we quickly went back to the house. 

Now I don’t know if we ever discussed not telling anyone, or made a pact to keep it secret, we never talked about it.  And we never had hotdogs at the river again.  Of course we did go back a few days later to see exactly what damaged was caused, and luckily, with the exception of some scorched grass, there was no apparent damage.  Our only hope that no wildlife was injured.

We didn’t know enough to check the news or to read the paper to see if it was covered, but we knew it happened, and that was enough for us. 

Needless to say, that was my last attempt to mess with fire in an uncontrolled environment.  Well, there was this ONE time…

Oh, and for those of you who are not familiar with the Santa Cruz river around the area of Silverbell and Ina road, just east of the river is the water treatment plant.  Come to find out the reason the river only ran at this end of the city?  Runoff!

Religion and politics?

I have no wisdom, but what time has afforded me.  I have searched and studied and poked and prodded, and made my own conclusions, but what bothers me now, and no heavenly or earthly wisdom can clarify, is why Christian Americans think that they are above the law?  And I am not talking about man's law, I am writing of God's Law.

Mans desire to delve into the seediness of politics is above my understanding, not from a civic nature, but a biblical one.  When push came to shove Jesus said, regarding the politics of the day, "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesars and unto God the things that are Gods."  The esteemed biblical scholar and commentator, Matthew Henry, suggested that the meaning of Matthew's verse was that attempting to argue against the politics of the land was futile and takes Christians away from the task at hand and that is Worshipping God.  Now throughout the bible certain men and women were called out to take a stand and hold the line for God, but the masses were admonished to Worship the Lord with all their Heart, Soul, and Might.  Now it seems to me that this would take extreme focus and dedication to accomplish this fete.  So why is there an Egyptian style Exodus from this teaching to stand on a wall and defy the government?  Well the most obvious reason is the fight over a woman's right to choose what is best for her body.  The idea, from the perspective of the "Right" is that abortion is murder.  And while I am not even remotely qualified to participate in that debate, I find the focus to be inordinate.  And here is why:  As humans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, agnostics, atheists, and whatever other religious or philosophical leanings abound, at the core of all of it is personal responsibility.  And that is extremely biblical, moral, Buddhist, etc, etc.  And also what seems to be lacking most.

The idea that your moral code is to be respected and revered by anyone other than yourself is just ludicrous.  For one thing, to focus so strongly on a topic of abortion is to detract from many other events and dilemmas that occur across the land.  Abortion?  Oh my no!  Gun regulation to curb violence and even accidental death?  No way no!  Starving children...here and abroad?  Eh, not my problem.  Climate change due to rampant pollution?  God is coming soon, no need to worry!

Obviously I could go on and on about injustices as seen by every type of religious or spiritual group, but again, it comes down to personal responsibility.  Do you remember the parable of the mote?  Jesus said you are trying to pull the splinter out of your neighbor's eye when there is a beam in your own.  Or in other words, you have your own problems that you refuse to deal with so don't go trying to fix everyone else.  Fix yourself.  This is VERY important, folks.  So get this.  Hear this!  The reason the world is in the trouble that it is in is because each of us is too busy butting into everyone else's business and not taking care of our own.  Paraphrasing here, but Jesus said let people see your light when they look at you, don't shine it in their face when they are trying to find their own path.  Light their path.  It is by your deeds that you will be known.  And the way to encourage others is not by telling them how they are evil and need to come to Jesus, but give them something to look at that they will see and want to emulate because it is Love.

Do you believe that you are more powerful when you are against something or for something?  Personally I believe that a soul is more effective when they are for something good rather than against something bad.  Because what we focus on we attract.  If your focus is on the good, you will begin to attract that goodness into your life.  And for those of you who think that is heretical and anti biblical, I encourage you to re-read it.  The Bible that is.  "as a man thinketh, so is he!"  What is in your heart will be made manifest in your life.  So you see warring, bitterness, hate, disgust, disdain, and a critical world out there?  Turn that inward and look into your heart, you will find it there also.

If you believe in the sanctity of life, live it in your heart.  It is your right.  It is even your right to believe that others who disagree are not right.  But you have to judge yourself on your convictions.  And if you deem it necessary to judge others...judge them by their convictions.  Live what you believe.  Believe what you live.  For the best way to begin a change in the world is to begin a change in your own heart.

Expectations...

When facing mortality in this life it is difficult to be of a cheerful spirit, and that is especially true when that very mortality hits close to home.  I am currently coming off a difficult week.  Difficult in that the emotions surrounding death still have a heavy effect on this soul.  As I write this I think of Dr. Richard Ganzer, a man that was an influential part of my life for much of my teenage years.  Recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, he lies waiting for the inevitable of all life.  And this on the heels of the passing of a young man and close friend.

My wife and I drove to North Carolina to attend the memorial of Andrew Schultz.  A young man who lived life with expectations.  And certainly expectations of a long and happy life.

During the memorial Andrew’s father, Terry, spoke to the crowd about Andrew.  He told a story of the first time that Andrew and his brother, Benjamin, got the opportunity to snorkel in Hawaii.  Upon hitting the beach the boys donned their snorkel gear and disappeared into the water for an hour and a half.  When finally coming out of the water, his dad recalled the comment that Andrew made… “It was everything that I had hoped it would be.”   Andrew had expectations…and they were realized.

As we left the memorial and headed down the mountain in the shuttle provided by their local church it hit me.  We get what we expect.  We receive in accordance with how we think.  People that speak of how wonderful life is have an expectation that life will be wonderful.  People that speak of how hard and difficult life is expect as much.

Here is the funny thing.  Everyone of you that is experiencing a difficult time in life will likely turn up your nose and say bull-shit!  And everyone that is living the good life will likely say “Right On!” 

This is something so simple and so true to my own personal experiences that I find it difficult to believe that it is only germane to my life. 

I am not talking mysticism, heresy, or anti-biblical teachings.  Contrary.  From Buddhism to Christianity, to new age thought, it is reiterated over and over again.  All spiritual and religious teachings have the same edict expressed in one way or another:  As a Man thinks, he is.

What you believe about yourself, your life, your surroundings, your world is the truth for your life.

So for the skeptics, just think for a moment.  Do the ‘what if’ dance with me.  What if you decided to perceive life with a new perspective?  What if you decided that the troubles that you have had in your life were over.  What if the negativity was gone, and that personal achievement and success were part of your present and future self.  Would things change overnight?  I can’t say that it will or that it will not, because for some of you it may be a quick as flipping the light switch for illumination.  For some it may require rewiring the switch. I believe it is only a matter of how far ensconced you are into a life that has, so far, been exactly what you have expected.

I, personally, have never thought of life as being difficult.  I have experienced some wild things in my life that came to me without effort or without much forethought.  And it is what I have expected to happen for me.   But I think part of the “trick,” if you could use that word, is that I have never expected anything different.  It is just how I believed.  So I have never had to change my perspective.  But now, in this time, I have to decide that while it has been great and easy, in order to have more, I have to expect it.  I have to incorporate the next level into my everyday thinking…yet without thinking about it.  Just expecting.

I, for one, am game!  I am going to broaden my expectations.  So that I can be the proof of my beliefs.  So that all can see the profit in believing in a greater, more successful life.

It begins today!  And to quote Stuart Smiley, “I’m Good Enough, Smart enough, and Doggone it people like me!”

You, also, are good enough, smart enough, and are loved by many!

Compassion, The path to...

No Cross Word Has Ever Been Rewarded With A Smile

No Punch Has Ever Been Received With Gratitude

Spare the rod and spoil the child.  Of course this is the Christian way of raising a child.  The belief is that you instill a discipline into a child that will cause a Pavlovian response when confronted with making a decision that might be contrary to the will of others.  In effect mind control.  Now making the point that this is not necessary will have many condemning such words as heresy or stupidity.  But I say to you that in nature there is always a way that opposes conventional wisdom (and by conventional I mean a standard that we have adopted through tradition rather than through learning).

A perfect example of this is the old way of training horses to be bridled and sadled.  In the past (even as recent as 20 years ago) a horse trainer would implement ropes to tie up a horse, whips to discipline a horse and spurs to command a horse to his will.

But then came along a man, then a boy, who would sit in nature and watch the horses in their natural habitat.  He would document all of their interactions and learn how they communicate with each other and from that he developed a process where the ropes, spurs and whips were no longer needed.  He communicated with the horses using their own language.  With much success, John Lyons is now noted as being one of the tops in the field of horse training.  No beating, no coarse instruction, but teaching by establishing trust rather than fear.

“But Humans are different!”

Yes, and no.  We have assumed, that because of tradition, the necessary way to bring  up a child is through discipline and punishment, but we are just touching the surface of our abilities to do it differently.  We are just now bothering to take the time to learn the true language of a baby, tot, or young adult.  We have raised generations in violence and disguised it as discipline. 

Violence will not end violence.  It will not bring about peace.  That can only be done with compassion and understanding through open communication.

We must learn Old ways to achieve New and different results.

Glorifying and extolling violence through tradition will just further the course we are on.

Find love, compassion, and healing.

The Intern (of Beer that is)

“Get your beer!  Get your ice cold beer!  Rich, dark, and malty or citrusy and hoppy!  Ice cold beer!”

So, just as a part of a random circumstance I came upon a sight that offered the opportunity for a summer internship traveling and tasting beer.  I started drool just thinking about it.  But this is better than any internship I have ever heard of, they are actually going to pay 3 people to do that!  Well, I just had to sign up for that.  Traveling, drinking beer, writing or blogging about it on a daily basis?  It’s a no-brainer to me.  Now I don’t know how sophisticated a writer for which they are looking, but I can tell you what I like, why I like it and why you should, or should not drink it! 

Imagine having the opportunity to go to Chico, California; Asheville, North Carolina, Portland, Oregon and all around the U.S. traveling to festivals, tasting great beers and eating great food!  And getting paid to do it!  Sign me up World of Beer! I will do you proud!

Conservative Liberalism!

Is there a word for me?

When it comes to political animals, there is no cut and dry way to define some people.  Like myself.  I have a lot of conservative views when it comes to finances, and a lot of more liberal views when it comes to social concerns.  I don’t consider myself too far right on any one issue or too far left on those that I tend to gravitate towards.

I am not against a woman choosing to make her own decisions about her body, but I am not for abortions that are used in place of common sense methods to prevent pregnancy.

I think rational, responsible people should be able to own a gun for protection and for hunting, but the need for stashes of weapons that can fire 30 round bursts in seconds is uncalled for and irresponsible.  

If you are one person, and fear the government, and feel as though you need a thousand rounds to protect you against tyranny, then you are not thinking sanely.  Trust me, you may fire off a lot of rounds, but in the end you will be just as dead.  You will never have the firepower of the “authorities.”

I believe in taking care of those who need help to get back on their feet.  Supporting single mothers who find themselves in a situation where working costs more than not due to the costs of child care, food, housing, and other necessities.  But I don’t think it should be a long-term system for which people can take advantage. Or a way to have multiple births and live off the system.

I believe that all human beings, regardless of sexual orientation, color of their skin, political affiliation, or belief in their God should have equal rights under the law. 

But in the realm of sexual orientation, it’s none of my business what you choose to do or how you chose to live your life, so don’t flaunt it in my face (this does not mean 'dont fight for your rights).  Just be a good person with a loving heart and we will get along just fine and together we can laugh, cry, have drinks, sing songs, tell jokes, and be friends.

In the realm of religion, if you are not open to my beliefs and my opinions about God, don’t try to convince me of the correctness of your religion.  I will respect your beliefs…please respect mine…no matter how crazy they may seem!

Color of your skin?  PLEASE!  None of us are White and none of us are Black.  We are all different shades of Brown. (refer to the ‘good person with a loving heart’ comment earlier.  Same thing applies)  But I do agree that much work needs to be done to combat racial inequality.

Political affiliation?  You can be crazy Right or crazy Left, just respect the process!  Join the debate!  And be willing to listen to people that don’t believe the same as you.  You just might learn something.

I stand on NO soapbox.  I keep the majority of my opinions quietly to myself.  Ask my wife, I think not even she is totally sure which direction I am aiming at times.

As one great “Wyld Stallion” follower once said.  “Be Excellent to one another, and Party On, Dude!”

It’s all about the Love and respect!

Have you tried Hypnosis?

I am the sum of my experiences.  Period.  My early formative years laid the foundation for the decades to follow.  And we are all similar.  Now the curious thing about human development is that we rarely, if ever, have any say or control over our formative years.  That falls solely on our parents and the society to which we are exposed.  And it is this programming that ultimately determines our life path.  That is unless we learn new programming.  So if we want to go in a different direction than we are currently headed, we need to re-learn some of the things that we were taught in our childhood.  This is difficult in so many areas because all of the programming is linked together.  So the challenge is to change enough of the programming to support your new goals.

There are many forms of reprogramming available.  One of the most severe forms of reprogramming is military training and even this has its limits due to time constraints.  Basic training in the military can change our thought patterns about certain things and even bring about real change in actions and outcomes.  But if you are willing, and capable, of taking the next step by going into some sort of Special-Forces group like the Rangers, or the Seals, or the Green Berets the training is specifically designed to reprogram your thoughts, actions, and beliefs.  It is called conditioning, or brain-washing and it is highly effective.

A more accessible and less punishing path is hypnosis.  Hypnosis dives into the subconscious and reprograms areas that you decide need to be reprogrammed.  On the more notable side there is smoking cessation and weight control which cause behavioral changes and allows you to be successful in stopping that destructive behavior.  But it is not limited to that.  Hypnosis can begin to remold the brain’s responses with unlimited applications for your life.

Here is a simple illustration:

                As a young child your parents handed you an apple.  They told you that it was an orange.  And they reinforced it each time you were given one.  So as you grew older you recognized it as an orange.  Now no parent that I know of would do such a thing, but let’s look at that from another perspective.  Your parents are afraid of you being taken by a predator, so they tell you to never talk to strangers.  When the doorbell rings at home you are not allowed anywhere near the door, only an adult can go to the door, because the stranger might look to do you harm. 

So what does that imprint on your subconscious?  People coming to the door could possibly be dangerous.  Avoid people at the door.  Now some of you may think that is ridiculous, but we all have something that has been taught to us that affects us negatively.  It may be programming about our voice, our smile, our beauty, our gender, or our ability to be successful, but we all have something.

Maybe it is associated with financial success.  Perhaps you were taught that money is the root of all evil. Or that a life of service comes with a limit to material possessions. Or that a diagnosis of ADHD means that you are broken.

So the question is:  have you discovered something about yourself that you would like to revamp?  Something that you would like to do better? Or even something that you would like to stop doing entirely, or something that you have never done but would like to accomplish?  Hypnosis is a great place to begin.

However, there are some of you that have already said, “there is no way I am letting someone into my brain to scramble it!”  Okay, I get it.  But what if I told you that there is nothing that a hypnotherapist can make you do.  And that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis.  It’s true.  People that go up on stage and cluck like a chicken would likely already do it without hypnotic suggestion.  Hypnosis merely removes the inhibitions and allows them to express something they would typically be afraid to otherwise.  If you have ever been to a stage hypnotist you will notice that not everyone that they bring on stage stays on stage.  They are very adept at weeding out the “non-believers.”  But the ones that submit to the idea that change can come through a change in programming will experience change.

You want to be a better golfer?  Hypnosis!  You want to watch less television and write more?  Hypnosis!  Do you want to run a marathon, but keep getting stuck at the twelve mile mark?  Hypnosis!  Basically if you can think it then it can be improved or implemented by hypnosis.  

Research even shows that it can help you through surgery, at the dentist, and even heal more quickly.

There is even a form of hypnosis called Regression Therapy where you can attain access to forgotten memories.  And if you are really adventurous you could consult a hypnotherapist about Past Life Regression Therapy.  Now it is not for everyone, but some amazing things can happen and you can even heal present day ills that may have had their creation in a previous lifetime.

Not all therapists practice all the different modalities so you will have to ask questions and find the one that can meet your needs. 

Hypnosis may have once been seen as a parlor trick, but I assure you that it is a valuable therapy for everything ranging from thumb sucking to PTSD, test taking to world class acting.

If there is something that you continue to struggle with, then start doing your research, seek out a professional Hypnotherapist.  You can achieve great results for even the toughest challenges.

If only a Candidate would say this:

The speech I would love to hear:

My fellow Americans, as we move closer towards choosing the person who will represent this nation I have to take a moment and be honest with you.  There are three of us here on the democratic platform that have many of the same ideas, hopes and desires for America in the future.  We will not always agree on how best to proceed with our plans, but the important thing is that we do not get lost in the game of one-upmanship.

The two people that stand with me today are good people and have great moral character and though I sincerely want to win the nomination, I have to admit that any one of us would be a better president than the sum of all the others.

We (America) have lost our way.  We have decided that fear is much stronger than love and that defending ourselves against our enemies is of more importance than building a strong infrastructure, creating good jobs, making education and health access affordable, and eradicating poverty in our streets.

Now I know that these are only popular topics to some of our citizens, but I am willing to believe that more Americans would benefit from this type of world then would not.  What makes us strong is not our military it is our citizens.

Now this is not to say that we should not invest in our military.  Because of the world out there it is tantamount to our survival, but we must decide how much is enough and start to make smarter decisions about spending and where that money should go.

This is not about socialism either.  At least not in the definition that most people have about socialism.  It is about making sure that every American has opportunity.  Not a handout, but a hand up.  If we focus on making America stronger from the bottom up, then the next generations will have a greater shot at success.  Does that mean that we may have to take some drastic measures to equal the playing field?  YES.  It will take years, maybe even decades to reduce the effects of poverty, homelessness, and the undereducated.  It will mean sacrifices.  But these sacrifices do not have to be at the expense of the American people.  Simply diverting the monies spent on useless, outdated government projects, eliminating the flow of money from big corporations to our legislative halls and forcing the same corporations to invest in the American people instead is the quickest way to recovery.

I say to American corporations that want influence on the laws we enact, to invest in the communities that they serve.  Instead of sending lobbyists into D.C., send them into the neighborhoods to abolish hunger and unemployment.  And we are not going to ask you to not be profitable, but just be responsible.  If a CEO makes a 250 million dollar bonus in a year for making his company profitable what would 20% of that mean for jobs or education or health care?

And then there is the immigration issue.  Now I am not for barring immigrants from coming into our country.  But again, we have to be smart.  We must first provide the environment for our own citizens to thrive before opening the flood gates.  It is not about hatred of some religion or region of the world and it cannot be about fear of being attacked.  It has to be about promise.  Promise of a country whose strengths are to take care of its citizens first and then becoming global citizens second.

By doing nothing towards these ends our government has caused a passive acknowledgement that the state of the states is okay.  That our focus is better put on areas of the world that might cause us harm.

There was a time when the focus on terrorism towards the U.S. was minimal, even non-existent.   And it was back in the days when our flag on foreign soil meant respect.  But our attitudes towards other nations and their sovereignty have made us bullies in their eyes.  And what do we preach in America?  To stand up to bullies!  It’s time to retool our reputation around the world or we will soon shrink to a mere shadow of the greatness we once knew.

It is time for our conversation to stop being about fear.  And it needs to stop being about the symptoms of problems and we need to find the roots of them.  Gun violence is not about guns, it is deeper than that.  Much deeper.  It is about the lack of hope.  When you remove hope from the people you also remove the reasons to be involved in society.  You remove the desire to better ones self.  And when the government preys upon our fears then everyone becomes a potential enemy.

I want to be part of the solution, not a part of the problem.  But I cannot do it alone from the White House.  It needs to happen all across America.  The towns, the cities, the counties, and the floors of the House and Senate.  We have to elect people with a conscience.  With a desire to create a change.

But it has to start with leadership.  And that leadership begins right here.  Right from this podium.  Because I know that the strength of America lies in the strengths of its citizens.  And for America to truly be great again does not mean building a wall, targeting immigrants, or bombing the hell out of enemy outposts across the world.  It means bringing hope of a brighter future.  Right here, right now.

Insert candidates name here!

Hello, My friend.

I am going to start off by saying that I am not going to say how complicated the English language can be.  Oh well, it has been said.  But truly, we all know it.  We know how confusing words can be and the meanings that words share.  But there is one word that I have deemed the most confusing, if only in my own mind and by my own definition.  And that word is Friend.

It was during an early morning conversation with my wife that began with me mentioning my friend who happens to be a once and future restaurant mogul.  The conversation followed the usual twists and turns that my particular mind goes through and then near the end of the conversation I made some comment that I really don’t have many friends.  This brought an immediate reaction from my wife.  Her  comment was that I am always talking about ‘my friend here’ or ‘my friend there’ and yet I say that I don’t have many friends.  She was perplexed because my use of the word friend would have one believe that I have many friends.   And…I do, but let me explain.

From the other side of the shower curtain (which is where most of our pertinent conversations take place) I made the analogy of another confusing word.  I said, “I love my wife, I love my kids, and I love my dog.”  All are true, but they all have different and distinct nuances of definition.  I explained that I viewed the word ‘Friend’ in the same light.

I told her that there was the option to use the word acquaintance but that word was too vague and had an aloofness that did not correspond to any of the ‘friends’ that I have.   ‘Friend’ is very similar to the word love in that with the different levels of intimacy the word has a different connotation.   At the very least the word friend, to me, denotes the level of how I feel about a person.  On the lowest scale (which I still hold in very high regard) a friend is someone that I like as a person.  I meet them, they are kind, considerate, maybe funny, maybe intelligent, but the manner in which they conduct themselves emits a kind, gentle spirit.  This is something with which I immediately connect.  Does this mean that I will call them a friend?  Not necessarily.  Yet if I have another social chance to connect with them and we strike up a conversation and my opinion remains the same or even progresses, then I may begin to consider them a friend.  It does not mean that we have exchanged numbers or intimate stories of our lives, but the connection, based on a mutual admiration, will go a long way to establishing that base friendship.  And if we were to continue to run into each other in social situations and find we still have things to talk about, then I would begin to call them my friend.

The second level of Friend would be what my wife deemed as an associate.  This is also a person who, primarily, I like and for work or other social reasons I am privileged to interact with them on a regular basis.  My former boss in North Carolina would be someone like that.  I like him, he is kind and a gentle spirit, and we interacted for a common good through the radio station.  We would occasionally intersect our social calendars – Super Bowl at my house- Dinner at his house- but we did not hang out on a regular basis.  We shared each other’s numbers, but rarely were there calls for the kinds of “favors” that the next level of friend might share.  ( this is not limited to people with which you share a working environment, but also people that may cross your paths during the course of your work)

The third level of friend I choose to call the Commiserator.  Of course this is not a noun and therefore the word, in my copy of this document, is underlined in red, but it is a noun.  The Commiserator is the friend that you relate certain intimacies of soul.  You often vent to this friend about other friends and situations that may arise during the course of your day.  This friend is more than just a gentle, kind spirit.  This person will generally share a lot of the same philosophies and personality traits.  If you are a bit acerbic and sarcastic, then they will likely be also.  You may often find yourself defending this friend to other friends.  Maybe not revealing you’re agreement with said friend, but sometimes just taking a position that supports their view (because only the Commiserator knows you are just like them – that is the intimacy part)  The Commiserator will often know your weaknesses, because they share the same ones.  And while they may give you shit for those weaknesses, they never judge you because of them.  This is also the person that you can likely count on for a favor from time to time and will quickly return one or offer your time and energies for this person.

The fourth and final level of friend is the companion friend.  This, obviously, is likely to be your spouse or partner.  If not now at some point later.  As with the other three, you like this person for their kind spirit and gentle soul, but you also involve them, at times, in work related social functions.  You will also share with them your feelings about others, your shortcomings in yourself, and they will see most all of the faults that make you human.  You go out of your way for this person, sometimes to your own detriment, but you don’t martyr for them.  You do unselfishly because they are the ones that have your back…Always.  Even at times when they don’t agree with you.  Personality wise they are not always like you, but they often compliment you in the areas that you are not as strong.  This friend is also (generally) the most forgiving.

Friend.  It’s a weird word and there is a lot of room for alternate interpretations.  Feel free to explore your own ideas on the subject.