The Talk.

How many of you remember having that conversation with your parents?  You know, The Talk!  The Birds and the Bees!  The one about SEX!

I’m not talking about the obligatory conversation that goes something like this:

“If you have sex you will get pregnant and it will ruin your life!  Or: “Don’t you play with that thing in my house!” or even the ipso facto: “What the hell are you doing?”

No.  What I am talking about is an open discussion that discusses the importance of a sexual relationship.  The how’s and why’s of each part of the process and the responsibilities that go along with them.  How to achieve an orgasm for your partner and the importance of cuddling.

Okay, that just scratches the surface, but I am guessing that not many of you heard this from your parents and it is likely that none of them handed you a book and said “here you go…I can’t talk about this, but it’s all in here.”

And it doesn’t get any better when it is taught in school.  I remember in 8^th grade seeing films on child birth and it was intended to scare us rather than inform us. (hopefully that has changed since the 70’s but I’m not so sure).  There was nothing in those classes about the sensitive areas of the penis or the stimulation of the clitoris or of the female orgasm actually assisting in pregnancy.

Now these are all things I can get from watching an episode of Real Sex on HBO, but for me it’s too little too late.

I was in my early 30’s before I finally figured it out, and by then I had failed to satisfy my share of relationships.  And when I figured it out I finally realized the joy that I had been missing. 

The thing I realize though is that The Talk is not easy for any parent.  I even missed the boat with my own kids, but then I have the feeling they would have freaked out had I tried to talk to them about sex.

But thank God I learned anything at all, even if it came later in life.  I mean, hell, my 30’s was a pretty good time to figure it out.  I hope my kids are a little more prepared to talk to their kids, but I don’t plan on asking them!  Lol!