Letter to a friend

To one of my oldest and dearest friends,

It has become apparent that the years have done more than grey us.  They have also jaded us, and, conversely, like a tumblers drum they have even worn off some of the rough edges.  And rough edges can be to our benefit at times.  Our sharp points can sometimes defend us from the barrage of unwanted threats that confront us in the world.  I know that the conventional wisdom is that a smooth stone has weathered the roughest rapids and is gentler and allows the water to pass without a rapid, but many a gentle ripple. But it can also make us complacent to the rushing waters.  There is a Buddhist thought that says (paraphrase) to go with the flow, but this is an incomplete thought.  It is chaos and fear that we must allow to flow smoothly over us while being diligent in kindness and compassion no matter what the cost.

As I look at our relationship over the years, we have shared little or no such chaos between us.  Certainly we have had our share in our own separate worlds, but now it seems as though outside influences have permeated a life of love and shared respect.  Neither of us were always perfect, nor were we saddled with the weight of the world’s issues, but current times are showing me that I still have some rough edges.  Edges that will not allow me to tolerate fear and tolerance toward hatred, bigotry, or religious persecution.

The saddest thing, from my perspective, is that we are not now divided by ideology, which I could embrace, were that the only issue, but we have embraced paths that are diametrically opposed.  One path that is filled with hatred, bigotry, and religious persecution.  And that is troubling to me because I do not see you as having any of those traits.  I know you as loving, compassionate, kind, and generous.  Yet you have aligned with a movement that, at its core, has none of those traits.

I will always have hope that the situation will right itself and that love will prevail, but I must also defend myself from the anger and hatred, and in turn not display that in my emotions and actions.  This is difficult for me, because in coming from a point of love I must compassionately dole it out to all, and not just those with whom I agree.

I remember when I was steeped in the Fundamentalist doctrine and would spout the book of Romans when it came to Homosexuality, Corinthians when it came to Adultery, and Timothy when it came to condemning Catholics.  And I would Judge others because of righteous indignation.  But I learned that you truly cannot “hate the sin” and “love the sinner.”  Because if you break it down biblically, we are all sinners and our sins are equally judged by God.  So it reverts to love in the positive, and eliminate the fears surrounding the negative.

I have difficulty in finding the source of all of this hatred and bigotry. I look at the past 8 years and I cannot see the origin of all the hatefulness towards the previous Administration.  Were there wrong turns?  Yes.  Were there things with which I did not agree?  Absolutely!  But in my heart of hearts am I better for it?  Without a doubt. 

People on a certain side of this new era we are rushing into have seen the past 4 years as something horrible.  As an affront to their existence.  And from what I can see the largest mass of people come from three places.  Ones who believe that whites are the true inheritors of the U.S.  The millionaires who did not quite make as many millions as they wanted, and the wannabes who believed that they didn’t make enough because they were held in check by a black president.  And while that may be over simplifying it, there is enough evidence for me to make such a claim.

But I left one group out, and on purpose, because I do not want to believe for a moment that it is a factor, but yet to deny it would be to blindly look away.  Men and women who believe that Jesus is their Lord and Savior, have battled against love and have taken up arms to defend the fear, bigotry, and hatred of others based on their beliefs, their lifestyles, and their countries of origin.  And this, for me is the tipping point (as if the rest wasn’t enough).

My dear friend, I have loved you unconditionally since we met.  Our lives have intersected in many ways over the years, and while we have not always been close in miles, my heart has been connected to you and has not, even for the briefest of periods, abated.  I know that there is nothing I can say or do to change your current ideology, but I can continue to love.  I cannot continue to be inundated by the hatefulness you have surrounded yourself.  I truly believe that this is not you at your core, but fear has crept in and taken you away.  I can only hope that it is but for the briefest of moments.

Perhaps there will once again be a time when we find ourselves walking the same path.  My wish for you is peace, love, and joy in the absence of fear.

G.