The Mental Move

Moving away mentally…

There are many transitions that I have gone through over the past 6 months.  Leaving a job that was never a job with a group of people that were more like family than co-workers.  Saying goodbye to people that I have come to love and admire over time.  Move about as far away from there as I could.  Said goodbye to two family members, who for all accounts, should have been around for at least a couple more years.  Struggled with creating a new existence in unfamiliar territory, self-worth, and finances.

When I moved to Portland, Oregon I began this blog as a sort of clearing house for emotions, thoughts, fears and “aha” moments that I have experienced.  Not as much so that anyone will read it, but that I have a permanent record of what my mind was thinking at any one time.  Lately, as the posts reveal, I haven’t had too much on my mind, or the quiet time to write it down when I did.

But this morning I awoke, early, with the idea that I would make sense out of all of this.  (smiles and smirks)  We all know that’s not going to happen.  What I did realize though is that there are many stages to moving.  There is the physical act, the mental act, and the spiritual act.  For me, two of the three have come with ease.  It is the last one that I have struggled with and I have things like facebook, twitter, and Instagram to thank (or to curse).

You see…the physical move for me was easy.  Load up the truck and head west.  A lot easier now than 100 years ago.  The spiritual move?  Not as easy.  While I loved where I was physically, spiritually I was hearing a call to something else.  A call that I fought because of the Mental aspect.  Which, in my opinion, is the hardest move to make.  The brain is a strange creature.  It practices imprinting.  Stacking things upon things upon things until the thing you think is the issue is really just a symptom of what is actually the problem.  I think it likes to hide things for self-preservation.  So when it comes to moving away mentally it begins to try to sabotage all the reasons you gave it for leaving.  So for me…it has been the hardest part of the move.  Letting go while trying desperately to hold on to all the things that I need to let go of in order to be in a new creative space.  No lie!  It has been difficult.  Even more so for my wife who has had to deal with my vacillating.

But in a nutshell…I am getting closer to completing my move…