Expectations...

When facing mortality in this life it is difficult to be of a cheerful spirit, and that is especially true when that very mortality hits close to home.  I am currently coming off a difficult week.  Difficult in that the emotions surrounding death still have a heavy effect on this soul.  As I write this I think of Dr. Richard Ganzer, a man that was an influential part of my life for much of my teenage years.  Recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, he lies waiting for the inevitable of all life.  And this on the heels of the passing of a young man and close friend.

My wife and I drove to North Carolina to attend the memorial of Andrew Schultz.  A young man who lived life with expectations.  And certainly expectations of a long and happy life.

During the memorial Andrew’s father, Terry, spoke to the crowd about Andrew.  He told a story of the first time that Andrew and his brother, Benjamin, got the opportunity to snorkel in Hawaii.  Upon hitting the beach the boys donned their snorkel gear and disappeared into the water for an hour and a half.  When finally coming out of the water, his dad recalled the comment that Andrew made… “It was everything that I had hoped it would be.”   Andrew had expectations…and they were realized.

As we left the memorial and headed down the mountain in the shuttle provided by their local church it hit me.  We get what we expect.  We receive in accordance with how we think.  People that speak of how wonderful life is have an expectation that life will be wonderful.  People that speak of how hard and difficult life is expect as much.

Here is the funny thing.  Everyone of you that is experiencing a difficult time in life will likely turn up your nose and say bull-shit!  And everyone that is living the good life will likely say “Right On!” 

This is something so simple and so true to my own personal experiences that I find it difficult to believe that it is only germane to my life. 

I am not talking mysticism, heresy, or anti-biblical teachings.  Contrary.  From Buddhism to Christianity, to new age thought, it is reiterated over and over again.  All spiritual and religious teachings have the same edict expressed in one way or another:  As a Man thinks, he is.

What you believe about yourself, your life, your surroundings, your world is the truth for your life.

So for the skeptics, just think for a moment.  Do the ‘what if’ dance with me.  What if you decided to perceive life with a new perspective?  What if you decided that the troubles that you have had in your life were over.  What if the negativity was gone, and that personal achievement and success were part of your present and future self.  Would things change overnight?  I can’t say that it will or that it will not, because for some of you it may be a quick as flipping the light switch for illumination.  For some it may require rewiring the switch. I believe it is only a matter of how far ensconced you are into a life that has, so far, been exactly what you have expected.

I, personally, have never thought of life as being difficult.  I have experienced some wild things in my life that came to me without effort or without much forethought.  And it is what I have expected to happen for me.   But I think part of the “trick,” if you could use that word, is that I have never expected anything different.  It is just how I believed.  So I have never had to change my perspective.  But now, in this time, I have to decide that while it has been great and easy, in order to have more, I have to expect it.  I have to incorporate the next level into my everyday thinking…yet without thinking about it.  Just expecting.

I, for one, am game!  I am going to broaden my expectations.  So that I can be the proof of my beliefs.  So that all can see the profit in believing in a greater, more successful life.

It begins today!  And to quote Stuart Smiley, “I’m Good Enough, Smart enough, and Doggone it people like me!”

You, also, are good enough, smart enough, and are loved by many!

Compassion, The path to...

No Cross Word Has Ever Been Rewarded With A Smile

No Punch Has Ever Been Received With Gratitude

Spare the rod and spoil the child.  Of course this is the Christian way of raising a child.  The belief is that you instill a discipline into a child that will cause a Pavlovian response when confronted with making a decision that might be contrary to the will of others.  In effect mind control.  Now making the point that this is not necessary will have many condemning such words as heresy or stupidity.  But I say to you that in nature there is always a way that opposes conventional wisdom (and by conventional I mean a standard that we have adopted through tradition rather than through learning).

A perfect example of this is the old way of training horses to be bridled and sadled.  In the past (even as recent as 20 years ago) a horse trainer would implement ropes to tie up a horse, whips to discipline a horse and spurs to command a horse to his will.

But then came along a man, then a boy, who would sit in nature and watch the horses in their natural habitat.  He would document all of their interactions and learn how they communicate with each other and from that he developed a process where the ropes, spurs and whips were no longer needed.  He communicated with the horses using their own language.  With much success, John Lyons is now noted as being one of the tops in the field of horse training.  No beating, no coarse instruction, but teaching by establishing trust rather than fear.

“But Humans are different!”

Yes, and no.  We have assumed, that because of tradition, the necessary way to bring  up a child is through discipline and punishment, but we are just touching the surface of our abilities to do it differently.  We are just now bothering to take the time to learn the true language of a baby, tot, or young adult.  We have raised generations in violence and disguised it as discipline. 

Violence will not end violence.  It will not bring about peace.  That can only be done with compassion and understanding through open communication.

We must learn Old ways to achieve New and different results.

Glorifying and extolling violence through tradition will just further the course we are on.

Find love, compassion, and healing.